Spring Cleaning the Perfectionism
As flowers bloom and we adjust to new schedules filled with spring sports, school events, and longer days, there's a natural invitation to refresh and reset.
We put away winter coats and start organizing closets. Spring is often when we turn outward to clean our homes—but what if we turned inward too?
What if this season, we cleared out the perfectionist tendencies that weigh us down?
The Weight of Perfectionism
Perfectionism has a sneaky way of showing up in our lives, especially in parenthood. It’s the voice that says:
- “You should be doing more.”
- “You’re not getting it right.”
- “You need to be everything to everyone.”
It tells us that if we can just do it all perfectly—the school drop-offs, the healthy lunches, the soccer practices, the emotional regulation, the bedtime stories—we’ll finally feel like we’re doing enough. But instead of creating peace, perfectionism tends to create pressure, guilt, and burnout.
BreneĢ Brown and the Gift of Letting Go
In her book Daring Greatly, BreneĢ Brown writes,
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is a defensive move. It's the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lung around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen."
That hits hard, doesn’t it?
BreneĢ invites us to trade perfection for authenticity—to show up as our whole selves, imperfectly but wholeheartedly. When we let go of perfectionism, we make room for real connection, both with ourselves and with those we love most.
The “Good Enough” Parent
One of the most powerful shifts we can make is to embrace the idea of being a good enough parent.
This doesn’t mean settling or not caring—it means recognizing that your presence, your love, and your efforts are already deeply valuable. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need attuned, emotionally available, human ones.
In fact, research supports this. Messing up occasionally, apologizing, learning, and modeling self-compassion are part of what helps kids build resilience. They don’t learn from our perfection—they learn from our repair.
Spring Cleaning for the Soul
So this spring, as you clear out the old and make room for the new, consider doing a little perfectionism purge. Here are a few ideas to start:
- Tidy your inner dialogue. Notice when your self-talk is harsh, and practice speaking to yourself like you would to a friend.
- Declutter your expectations. What are you holding yourself to that no longer feels realistic or kind?
- Organize your values. What truly matters to you and your family? Let those be your compass, not what Instagram or Pinterest says.
- Toss the guilt. It’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to do things good enough.
Let Spring Be a Reminder
Just like the natural world wakes up imperfectly—muddy, uneven, and full of new growth—so do we. Growth is messy. New seasons come with learning curves. And you are allowed to show up exactly as you are.
Here’s to a spring of gentle resets, wholehearted living, and letting go of the pressure to do it all flawlessly.
