Navigating Difficult Situations
How to Harness Your Wisest, Strongest Self
Life is filled with moments of challenge and uncertainty. Whether it's an unexpected curveball in your personal life, a stressor at work, or a conflict with a friend, difficult situations are bound to arise. The real question is: how can we approach these moments with strength, clarity, and resilience?
As a therapist, I’ve found that one of the most powerful tools in facing challenging situations is to tap into the wisest and strongest version of yourself.
When we encounter tough situations, it’s easy to get caught up in emotions, reactions, and thoughts that feel overwhelming. However, by accessing our inner strength and wisdom, we can navigate even the toughest moments with more ease and grace.
Imagine Your Wisest, Strongest Self
One of the strategies I often use in sessions is helping clients access their wisest, strongest self. (If you subscribe to my meditation series, be sure to check out the recently added 8Cs exercise.)
This is the version of you that has weathered storms, made tough decisions, and come out on the other side stronger. It’s the self that embodies calm in chaos, clarity in confusion, and confidence when doubt arises.
Imagine how your wisest, strongest self would handle the situation you are facing. What would they do? How would they respond? How would they carry themselves? By picturing this version of you in action, you can begin to draw on that inner strength when you need it most.
When Stress Hijacks the System
That said, it’s important to acknowledge that in the face of intense stress, our nervous system can get hijacked. When we feel overwhelmed, our body may respond by entering a state of hyperarousal (anxiety, panic, irritability) or hypoarousal (numbness, shutdown, disconnection). These are protective responses wired into us for survival, but they can make it really difficult to access the wise, grounded part of ourselves.
In these moments of dysregulation, it’s not that your wisest self disappears—it’s just harder to reach. You may notice you’re reacting rather than responding, or that clarity and calm feel out of reach. This is where compassion and awareness come in. By recognizing the signs of nervous system dysregulation, you can begin to gently guide yourself back. With tools like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or co-regulation with a trusted person, you can reset and return to that centered, resilient version of you.
Bring That Strength Into Your Reality
Once you’ve visualized your wisest self, consider how you can carry that energy with you into whatever challenging situation lies ahead. Is there an object that can serve as a reminder of your inner strength? It could be something small, like a coin, a stone, or a piece of jewelry. This object can act as a tactile connection, reminding you of the best version of you. Whenever you encounter a challenging situation, hold onto the object and take a deep breath. Let it remind you that you are capable, strong, and wise.
I encourage my clients to use this strategy during EMDR sessions, especially when they are processing trauma or emotionally intense experiences. By connecting with their wisest self, clients are able to approach their emotions with a sense of empowerment and control, even when they are in the midst of difficult memories or triggers.
The Power of the Rest Button
In addition to tapping into your wise self, it’s important to remember that you always have the ability to reset and recover. Life can be overwhelming, and sometimes, emotions and stress can throw us off balance. But there’s no need to panic or feel like it’s the end of the world. If you veer away from the best version of you, simply imagine hitting “reset.” Pause, step away from the situation, and use a grounding technique like a few deep breaths to bring you back to a wiser, stronger energy.
From this place, you can better tackle the situation at hand. Whether you’re navigating a difficult conversation, dealing with a stressful event, or simply managing your emotions, approaching the situation from a place of inner strength can make all the difference. With practice, you’ll find that the more you tap into your wise self, the more natural it becomes to respond to challenges with resilience and clarity.
